Saturday morning diner texts

Me: Ppl next to me are ordering omelettes made with egg whites. I'm judging them. Go home and and make your own gross egg white omelettes!!

Friend: Assholes

Me: And they ordered pickled vegetables as an appetizer. Next they'll prob go work on a farm, run a marathon, exfoliate, and do colonics after going on a smoothie diet. Then they'll die and no one will care because they're the worst, most boring people in the world.